Dos and Donts for a Marriage

This is a continuation to the previous post about wedding(s). Manu Bhagavan has blessed us with the dos and donts for a marriage.

Gurunanupatha: Sbaathavaa Samaavrutho Yadhavidhi:
Udvahetha Dvijo Bhaaryaam SaVarnaam Lakshananvithaam

Desc: After taking the permission of the Guru a Shishya baths and undergoes Samavarthaanam, or the end of his bachelorhood. Such a leaned and virtuous Brahmana (who has finished studying the Vedas) shall marry a girl of his own Varna (a Bhramin girl), who has auspicious signs. 

Note: The Vedic graduation ceremony is called as Samavarthaanam  This is called as Vrutham nowadays. After a Bhramin boy undergoes t Upanayanam or thread ceremony, he stays at his teacher's place and learns the Vedas and upon completion of his studies, his Guru decides to give him his graduation and then he gets ready for marriage.

Asapinda Cha Yaa Mathu: Sagothra Cha Yaa Pithu:
Saa prashasaa Dvijatheenaam Darakarmani Maithune

For conjugal purposes, a Brahmana may not choose a girl who is related to one's mother by Sapinda or to one's father by SaGothra relationship.( this is like marrying one's own sister).

HeenaKaaryam Nishpurusham Nischando Roma Sharshasham
Kshayyamaya Avyapasmaaree Svithri Kushti Kulaani Cha

In this sloka, Manu describes the categories of women or families, from which a Brahman must not marry:

A family, which does cheap or dreadful acts
A family, which has no men (husband or sons are not here)
A family, with no Vedic knowledge
A family, which has hairy men and women
A family, in which consumptive,epileptic,leprous or luecodermic children are born or present.

Note: Some of the above conditions, are about dreadful physical diseases like luecoderma, leprosy etc.. and others about the dreadful qualities like hirsute men or women, etc.. So, before marrying a girl one should carefully analyze the facts about that family. Otherwise, he would ruin his entire life with a bad selection. Also, a family where there are no sons isn't a good one to marry.

Nodhveheth Kapaaalinam Kanyaam Nadhikangim Na Rogineem
Naalomikaam Naathilomaam Na Vachaataam Na Pingalaam

Desc: Manu Bhagavan has blessed us with further characteristics of women, who should be avoided in marriage:

Girl with brown complexion
Girl with a less or an extra limb
A girl, who has excess hair on her body or no hair on her body
A talkative or garrulous girl
A girl, who has brown or yellow eyeballs

One has to select the right girl, very keenly. All the above mentioned qualities are inauspicious for a woman.

Narksha Vruksha Nadhi naamneem Naanya Parvatha Naamikaam
Na pakshya hi preksha Naamneem Na cha Bheeshana Naamikaam

Desc: Now Manu Bhagavan describes about the name of a girl. This should be noted well by parents, who give in appropriate names to their kids. (A girl said her name was Yachna = borrowing, and other Rodhna = crying and so on). Only sweet sounding and auspicious names must be given to women. Girls  who have the names of a star, tree, river,mountain,bird, serpent or any other dreadful objects must not be accepted in a marriage.

Note: Based on this law girl names like Narmada, Kaveri, Avatha, Amalakee, Revathi, Anuradha, Maka, Garuda, Kokila, Vaasuki, Kaarkotaki, etc.. should be strictly avoided.

Thus Manu Bhagavan clearly shows us, who should be an ideal life partner. In this age of Kali, things have become very drastic - and no one remembers Smrtuhi, which is supposed to be remembered for ever.